This blog is not about Joe Namath. Nor does it have anything to do with plutonium. However, about a year and a half ago I mentioned Joe Namath in a blog and other web sites picked it up. The same goes for plutonium. I wrote about the two nuclear submarines colliding in the Atlantic, used the word "plutonium," and lo and behold my blog appeared on other web pages. I get about 400 hits a week now, so in the interest of drumming up more interest, the title.
Two of my friends who I work out at the gym with regularly serve as the impetus for today's blog. I'd like to publicly thank them for -in their infinite wisdom- ignoring me this morning. This is not an unusual occurrence. People frequently ignore me. I guess you wouldn't call it ignoring, it's more like drifting away.
Every now and then a topic will come up that I have a lot of knowledge about. Almost always these two gentlemen choose to ignore me when I start to share on the subject matter. I can't really blame them. I am a bit long winded at times. However, what I share I think will enlighten them. That's my problem, going off thinking and all. This morning was one of those subjects, and it was also one of those times. I should have known what was coming, but yet I trudged blindly onward.
Mario was searching his reliable cellphone (laughter here) for a radio station to listen to while we all lifted weights. That Mario, he aims to please. After about what seemed like a fortnight, no music was forthcoming. I inquired as to what type of cellular device did he own, and he told me a Blackberry Curve, Bold, Feces, or something to that effect. As Mario searched along merrily, getting full use out of the $30.00 data plan whatever wireless "service" provider rapes him monthly; Mario chimed and I'm paraphrasing here, "Wait till Blackberry comes out with their version of the IPad," as if that is the magical solution to being able to locate a music station on a wireless device. Now you need an IPad or something similar to assure you can locate a radio station. My question here is "Are you fucking kidding me?"
As if an Ipad, or something similar, is the key to all that is wireless. You have phones that are able to do everything but wipe your ass, and they aren't good enough so you need to get something else, something better except you can't make phone calls with it. Oh that's just great!
As I stood there thinking to myself that pretty soon we are going to look like someone about to embark on a long journey with all the technological shit we'll have to carry around making everyone look like the geeks we've made fun of for years; Brad and Mario discussed the merits and shortcomings of the IPad or something similar. When, I believe it was Mario who said "I think I'm going to get one." On that note my mouth engaged.
The little men in my brain began to work feverishly to make sure I had an immediate, condensed, contextual argument against such folly. The stupid ass phone still had not located a radio station. At this point I don't believe Mario nor Brad cared. They were too engrossed in discussing all the marvelous things that would be at their disposal if they in fact did purchase an IPad or something similar.
My two friends were blissfully oblivious that the technology that is supposed to summon their radio station is the same technology that's supposed to run the IPad or something similar. I felt a burning need to point this out.
I have railed against the shit cellular service that has existed for many years and the fact that the cellular service providers don't give a flying fuck. There are only so many service providers, yet everyone has a cellphone. These folks may not have a job or a place to live, but son of a bitch, they've got a cell phone. And when the newest updated device (3G, 4G, OG!) becomes available, everyone has to run out and get it. Some assholes even stand in line for this "must have" piece of electronic wizardry. Yet, they don't seem to realize that this is precisely what cellular service companies are counting on.
As long as people get half-erect or wet in the shorts depending on gender, over the latest and greatest, cellular service companies don't have to give good service. People are going to keep paying for their shit service as long as they can get the "whatever toy is hot at the moment" though it will become passe in about six months. Then they'll just have to upgrade. It's a vicious cycle.
As I droned on about how the cellular companies infrastructure is paid for ten times over, and about how they're pulling the same shit as oil companies who haven't invested in their infrastructure since 1976, yet gas prices continue to go up because of the demand exceeds the supply because of the lack of refining capabilities. But those who hold stock in both these industries keep making their substantial dividends. It was about here that I noticed both Mario and Brad had stopped listening long ago.
Where did I lose you dear reader, at the last "or something similar?"
If Brad and Mario do indeed break down and buy these electronic marvels, and pay $39.99 a month for that service, plus their $30.00 a month for their data plan on their phone, plus whatever the exorbitant sum (my guess it's a least $70.00 a month) they pay for their poor excuse for cellular service, this act will reinforce my belief that there is no hope for humanity.
The creepy part is that there are millions nationwide who want to do, or have done, exactly what Brad and Mario plan to.
Not only did Brad and Mario stop listening after about my first eight or nine syllables, they started a whole different conversation until I said "... wait,let me finish." That was a huge mistake on my part. In no time at all they had moved on giving me a few token seconds of consideration before doing so.
Well, I'm not going to buy more pieces of shit that require me to pay handsomely for shitty service. Just another example of American industrial mediocrity in action. And we wonder why nobody wants to buy what we're producing. No wonder we're falling behind in the global marketplace. No wonder why the disparity in wealth is growing wider all the time. I like the old capitalism where quality and service mattered, and if your product wasn't any good, or your service sucked, you went out of business because Americans wouldn't tolerate anything but the best. I'm not buying into the "something similar" we have today.
I wonder if Mario ever found a radio station? Plutonium.
No comments:
Post a Comment