Once upon a time there was this young man. He was a very careless driver. He frequently wrecked automobiles. That was fortunate since he often grew bored quickly with his cars.
The young lad never had trouble getting insurance, even though it was expensive. Allstate was his company for a long time. When he got into an accident, his insurance went up. When he got tickets, which were numerous, his insurance went up. After many accidents (7), and many tickets (44 points when only 12 was allowed),and a drunk driving charge, the insurance on his latest car, a new 1980 Corvette, his insurance went way, way up. Almost to the sky.
His insurance went up so high, it cost the young man more each month to insure his car, than it did to make his monthly payment to the bank. How much you may ask? Well, his car payment was $312.00 each month, and his insurance payment was $323.00. Wow! That's a lot he said.
But he understood. Because of the way he drove he had to pay the piper. Also, he understood that because of his age (23), the small heavily populated state he lived in (New Jersey), and because he didn't own a home, and he drove a red Corvette, his insurance was going to be unusually high if he wanted to have complete coverage.
But then the young man got older and wiser. He stopped getting into accidents. He stopped getting speeding tickets. He stopped getting DUI's; and lo' and behold, his insurance went down! The man was happy. But he didn't live that way ever after. Because you see, the man moved to Florida, where, when it comes to any kind of insurance, all bets are off.
My friend Patrick can explain the Florida insurance issue much better than I can here, so I won't try. Patrick was at one time a lobbyist for the insurance industry, now he conducts historical research into the sordid lineage of insurance in Florida, and writes against what the industry has done to the people of Florida, or something along those lines. Try as I might, with all the intellectual tools at my command, I listen to Patrick intently only able to grasp snippets of the tangled web of corruption and shenanigans that is the world of the Florida insurance industry. What I've been able to coherently decipher is this; the residents of this state are getting bent over a desk without even the courtesy of a reach around.
Home owners, auto,flood, you name it, there's a excuse it's going up and no justifiable reason. Case in point. Did you see where FEMA has recharted the "flood" zones for Broward and Miami-Dade counties? They've simplified things by encompassing every square inch save a postage size area that not a soul inhabits. But I'm exaggerating...kind of. I will say this. That during FEMA's drunken holiday game of pin the tail on the donkey, they've included an area in the city of Davie that is the highest most point and furthest from the Everglades as well as the ocean. Hence, all the people who live there now not only have to get flood insurance which they've never had to carry before; but subject themselves to the arbitrary increases that occur if an active hurricane season is even forecasted. And the auto! Don't get me started. Too late.
We have State Farm, who recently became the neighbor whose dog constantly shits in our yard, and plays loud music into the wee hours of the morning. My son Cory, who has his own policy, had an accident with my car almost three years ago. We did not make a claim because the damage was less than my deductible. He does not live with us. Yet, State Farm raised my premium based on Cory living with us. Now we've tried on several occasions to make State Farm understand that Cory has lived in Gainesville for the last eight years. We had quite a to do six years ago to get this rectified. My State Farm agent assured me it was taken care of. So that's why the rate was raised. Understand? No, me either.
We have paid over the last twelve years nearly $20,000 in premiums, and make claims totaling less than $2000. I got a ticket eleven years ago. My wife has yet to get one during that time. Our insurance goes up each year. Both our driver's license's have been designated with "safe driver" status as anointed by the great state of Florida. Still, when insurance companies go to the state with a case for raising rates, our legislators gladly comply. Fuckers.And now to credit worthiness.
The new assrape that is now in vogue is based on some actuarial study that concluded that people with lower credit scores make more claims. This is the new be all end all guideline for which all rates are based. Throw out previous claims. Throw out past driving history. Throw out age. If you are a credit criminal -I had to file Chapter 11 a year ago due to unemployment for most of three years- your rates, because of a few scam artists (the ones who sue in slip and falls, will go up like a hot air balloon.All because some douche needs to justify his exorbitant salary and stock holders get their rates of return to which they've so grown accustom.
The best part, (is there a "best" part to any of this?), is that when people make too many claims, the insurance company just packs their bags and leaves our fine state never to write another policy again. The excuses are as obscure and insulting to one's intelligence as the reasons we hear on the news why oil companies are raising gas prices.
In the fall of our lives, my wife and I now pay nearly $2000 per year on a new purchased vehicle that listed for $27,000. We used to lease, but the insurance coverage required was higher. You can laugh here. We do when we consider this. Because if we didn't, I'd have to put State Farm's corporate office in Winter Garden, Florida on my list of places to firebomb, right after the Miami Herald building. I wonder who insures them, and whether they'll honor that claim.
The moral of the story is the young man grew up to become an anarchist. The End.
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