I Spy

I am sorry to have disappointed you regular readers -all three of you- these past couple of weeks. I have been remiss in my postings; life got in the way. I hate it when that happens. I semi-carefully went through all my documents to perhaps find a blog I had stashed in case of a time allotment emergency. Alas, all I found were short stories, and that's how they'll stay. In the interests of time and space, I'll share here some of what I witnessed over the past couple of weeks.

My lecture at Stetson University was a roaring success given the great reviews I received. At its conclusion I made my way to Gainesville to visit Cory, and to my surprise, his significant other Cathy. She was supposed to be out of town. Fortunately for me, she had a change of heart.

My drive necessitated taking state route 40 through the heart of the Ocala National Forest. As I made my way north on route 17 from Deland -if you've never heard of it, you're not missing anything- I looked for signs for 40 west. I will forever be able to make this drive again even if the Florida department of transportation decides arbitrarily to change the numbers of every major highway in the state. All I'll need to know is to make a left at the ten foot tall, stainless steel, pink rooster.

If it weren't for my pressing desire to see my son, I most assuredly would have stopped at this incredible statue emporium. Every animal was built to scale. Elephants, giraffes, tigers; all painted with the appropriate markings. There was a ten foot replica of the Statue of Liberty, and so many other stainless steel monstrosities that covered every square inch of the property, it boggled the mind. What a great place!

After driving for a bit, I reached the forest. You know how I knew? What welcomed my entrance was a yellow caution sign with a silhouette of a large bear on walking on all fours notifying me that this was a bear crossing. Really. In Florida. Home of beaches, sunshine, Spring Break, and Disney World. It seemed rather surreal initially. I didn't know if I could handle another Salvador Dali moment following so closely on the heels of the stainless steel menagerie. However, Florida occupies a huge expanse of land. It is a very diverse state. Why not a bear crossing sign?

No more absurd than that bastion of journalistic excellence The Miami Herald,putting Spanish language ads in the sport section when they publish a Spanish language version of the paper called El Nuevo.

But the height of the ridiculous, as noted Renaissance man Oliver Wendell Holmes would say, is the proposed merger between the AT&T and T-Mobile wireless cellular service carriers.

When this tidbit was first announced I thought I was going to have a cerebral hemorrhage. A minor myocardial infarction at least. In layman's terms, I nearly shit myself, then I shit a couple of neighbors and their pets.

I left fucking AT&T for T-Mobile because of the awful customer service I had to endure from this former monopoly. That was back in the day when they were Bell Telephone. Back when everything they were involved in ran like clockwork and the service was phenomenal. That is, until the U.S. government decided they were a monopoly and broke Bell Tel up into little tiny Bell Tels. Pacific Bell, Bell South, you name one, they all performed half as well as prior to the breakup.

Now At&T is becoming a monopoly again. But this time they've spread their inefficiency to every smaller company they touch. AT&T has finally figured out the formula for success and profitability. Acquire lesser financially soluble companies, give their shitty service, because guess what? The stupid American consumer will keep paying for it regardless of how bad we fuck up. The wireless phone service is a prime example.

It has been highly publicized that AT&T has the worst service of every wireless carrier doing business. The best service belongs to T-Mobile. T-Mobile is a German based company that is not the largest, or the wealthiest, just the best according to J.D.Power. They don't spend as much on advertising as AT&T or Verizon. They don't sell the Iphone like AT&T and Verizon. T-Mobile just tries to do the best they can customer service-wise. They are not perfect by far. They also have a little bit of that "customers will keep on paying no matter what" mentality; they're just not so blatant about it. And now AT&T wants to buy up T-Mobile in an obvious effort to somehow shore up their customer satisfaction ratings.

This whole thing smells of the Exxon merger with Mobil Oil after the Valdez scandal. Don't see many Exxon stations around anymore huh? I wonder if AT&T plans on operating under the T-Mobile umbrella to generate some much needed goodwill. I certainly hope not. I will have to cancel my contract. No you say? Can't get out of it you say? Fuck AT&T I say. They won't release me out of my contract, I'll make their customer service people's lives a living hell. Just ask Sony.

Five and half years ago I had an issue with Sony. The abridged version shows I got a new TV. Yea for me and 22 hours of diligence. Well that TV has shit the bed. I'm at it again. This time however, Sony has offered me a new television at a reduced price. It is a generous and satisfactory offer...for somebody else. Not for someone who has been down this road before. Not after reading a testimony from one of the numerous small claims court cases that said Sony only expected the TV (my model) only to last four to seven years when they put them on the market. I'll get another new TV. It may take some effort, but it will be worth it. I'm not going to let these greedy bastards continue to sell us inferior stuff, and laugh while their doing it.

I wish the CEO's of Sony and AT&T were riding in the same car along a highway in central Florida, and become so startled by the sight of a ten foot tall, stainless steel, pink rooster, that they hit a bear crossing the road. It could happen...if Salvador Dali has anything to do with it.