“And the Winner Is…”

Over the last couple of months, numerous accolades have been doled out in many segments of what our culture deems entertainment. Those things we can’t get enough of; sports, movies, “reality” television.
Baseball concluded its season with the annual sports writer anointment of the best of the best. Each league had a MVP, a Cy Young, a Rookie of the year. Each also had its Silver Sluggers, Golden Glovers, and Bronze Jock Strappers. Hall of Fame ballots have gone out for this year’s class of honoree hopefuls. Shamefully, Pete Rose isn’t on it.
College Football is concluding the season with the Heisman, the Lombardi, the Butkus, the Maxwell, the Walter Camp, the Davey O’ Brien, All-Conference, All-American; not to mention the upcoming All-Star games. The Shrine game, The Hula Bowl, The Senior Bowl, The Blue-Gray Game, The Black and Blue Game, the I’m Singing the Blues Game. For you non-sport folk, the last two are made up…I think. There are more, need I go on? Yes I must!
The nominees have been announced for possible induction into the Professional Football Hall of Fame. The voting is in for the NFL Pro Bowl. You know that one, it’s the game at the end of the year, yes, even after the Super Bowl; the one that no one gives a shit about the outcome. The one many of the players eschew, even though it’s played in Hawaii…in February, which shows you how over football a lot of these guys are by then. Hell, many players have incentive clauses in their contracts which pay them sizable bonuses if elected to the team, and they still don’t go.
The Golden Globes recently checked in with their nominations on the finest the movie industry has to offer, whether the public concurs with them or not. The actors, directors, et al, all will tell you what an honor it is to be recognized for their work. The bottom line is what the hype will do for the movie at the box office. Before you know it, the Oscar nominations will be announced, and television entertainment news magazines will finally have endless mindless crap to talk about. Oh, they already do that.
In television, we now know who the best celebrity dancer is, and the winner of the Amazing Race. Three “experts,” one a former Los Angeles Laker cheerleader, told us what who the next American Idol will be. If anybody, she should know! We will soon find out who the Biggest Loser is, not the viewer for watching, but the person who lost the most weight. Let’s all hold our collective breaths ok? Lastly, we finally get to know who won Survivor- Journey to the Center of the Earth. What is it, the46th installment of that franchise? Maybe it only seems like it’s been that many. Man, I thought that show jumped the shark long ago. When is the public going to realize that the participant’s behavior is no longer spontaneous? You can’t really think the contestants never saw the show before and everything they do is original. As long as it continues to get ratings, and there are picturesque shitholes on the planet to go, the show will regretfully endure. Maybe the next one can be Survivor-Space Station. Let’s see how long the competitors can stand each other in close quarters. I’d watch that.
Who are the decision makers of the majority of the aforementioned distinctive achievements? For the sports realm, I n some cases it’s the coaches. For the most part, it’s the sports writers. The same people who occasionally lambaste and vilify the individuals nominated for the awards. In addition, the criteria on which they base their votes vary...widely, dependent upon what’s in vogue at the time. For the Golden Globes and the Oscars, who cares? Two sport awards that warrant further scrutiny here are Major League baseball’s MVP award, and College Football’s Heisman Trophy.
In 1941, Joe DiMaggio of the New York Yankees bested Ted Williams of the Boston Red Sox for the American League MVP. DiMaggio had his 56 game hitting streak; Williams became the last man to hit .400, both memorable accomplishments. Is one more feat momentous than the other? It’s hard to say. However, one writer left Williams completely off his ballot, unconscionable. Though, Williams’ relationship with members of the press was rocky at best. So how much you kiss the sports writers ass is taken into account? I thought it was all about what was accomplished between the white lines that mattered. (Pete Rose would beg to differ) In addition, DiMaggio’s Yankees won the pennant that year, and that should count for something, but sometimes it doesn’t.
In 1987, Andre Dawson won the award as a member of the last place Chicago Cubs. They could’ve finished in last place without him, so how valuable could he have really been? But his on field performance was significantly superior to that of his peers. So does it matter where your team finishes in the standings? Sometimes, if the wind is right, just ask Albert Pujols. His team didn’t even win their division, and he won the National League MVP this year. Outcry has been minimal due to Pujols’ amicable disposition, and humble demeanor. (Pete Rose should read Dale Carnegie’s book) Okay, I get it now. If you’re a really good guy, and even though the team you play for didn’t reach their goals, then you can still win because the writers like you. That sounds fair… not. The Heisman voting is no less suspect with its own share of intangibles.
In 1987, Charles Woodson of the University of Michigan, became the first primarily defensive player to win the prestigious Heisman Trophy. He intercepted passes, he returned punts, and he returned kickoffs, he could leap tall buildings in a single bound. Against archrival Ohio State, he intercepted two passes, returned a punt for a touchdown, and even caught a 37 yard pass while on offense that led to Michigan’s lone offensive touchdown. Wow! What a valuable player. But the Heisman is not given to the most valuable player; it’s given to the best player. Woodson finished ahead of Peyton Manning in the voting, but light years behind statiscally. The previous year, Woodson did not moon a female assistant athletic trainer, Manning did. When did sportswriters become the moral entrepreneurs of American society, and when did behavior have bearing on voting, or should it have any bearing at all?
Thank goodness the moral fiber has been above reproach for those up for the award in 2008. For the most part, it’s about gaudy numbers (not in 1987 obviously); except if you lose a big game down the stretch like Graham Harrell, the quarterback of Texas Tech did. And he had his worst game of the year against Heisman winner Sam Bradford’s Oklahoma squad. Harrell’s statistics matched up with the three finalists that made the trip to New York. But Sam Bradford and Tim Tebow team’s won their conference championship game. Colt McCoy’s Texas team was excluded from the conference championship because of the BSC ranking tie-breaker rule. All were deserving of the award. None of them ever pissed off anybody in the press, unless there’s a penalty for being too upstanding, and not one of them dropped trou in front of a young lady.
I wonder if any of those Heisman voters cast their ballots for O.J. Simpson when he won the award in 1968.