The Sky is Falling

There are two characteristics which I believe plague our society today, self-absorption and immediate gratification. Examples of these cultural toxins have been emphasized periodically in blogs past. The hot topic these past couple of weeks, for whatever reactionary fueled reason, has been yesterday’s address to students by this country’s President. There was, and still lingering, public outcry over said address, by a segment of the neo-conservative faction that isn’t so neo. The biggest difference between the far right wing of yesteryear and today is what motivates them.
What was the big goddamn deal about a President speaking to a school age audience? It’s not like it never occurred before, and why would anyone give a forum to those so devoid of reason; which is what’s separates us from the other animals, but you could’ve fooled me by what fell out of some folks mouths. Can’t these people think for themselves instead of regurgitating whatever the Rush Limbaugh’s, Sean Hannrity’s, and Bill O’Reilly’s of the world spew forth? They seem to be as misguided as the Black Panthers, and The Weathermen were in the 1960’s. I'm surprised there hasn't been talk of impeachment yet, groundless yes, but no doubt coming.
Nothing our President said yesterday had anything to do with a political agenda, indoctrination, or brainwashing, as some claimed was his intent. Are you fucking kidding me? Maybe he had some subliminal message written on his eyelids like the girl in Indiana Jones archeology class did, and every time our President blinked, children across the country turned into socialist zombies similar to Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Maybe our President was going to say something truly seditious like “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.” Or, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Both statements by Presidents the far right believed had socialist leanings. We don’t want our youth taking things like that to heart! That said, okay boys and girls, it’s history lesson time!
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, following his election in 1932, was once labeled a socialist for the government programs he pushed through Congress to combat the Great Depression. Al Smith, the Republican Party candidate compared Roosevelt to Karl Marx and Vladimir Lenin for his policies. It took The New Deal, followed by another New Deal in 1934, nine years of legislation at work, and a war, before America could begin to see the economic light of day. It wasn’t until the 1952, and the election of Dwight Eisenhower, before America was once again prosperous. The economy has been, and always will be, cyclical. Due to the industrial boom of the Roaring Twenties, and the subsequent Crash of ’29, the cycle was expedited, then prolonged. The current predicament America finds itself mired in began toward the end of Bill Clinton’s term in office. Warning signs went unheeded, and 9-11 sped up an already deteriorating situation. Did we take stock in the economic indicators, no. George W. Bush made a half trillion dollar budget surplus evaporate (Woo-hoo! I got $300, how about you?), thought a war in the Middle East was a good idea, big business went unchecked, and voila, welcome to the world as we now know it. Along comes a guy who understands desperate times call for desperate measures, and conservatives are clamoring for his head after nine months. There’s that immediate gratification thing kicking in.
So our President wants to tell kids about the value of an education, and the responsibility they have to be the very best they can be. How dare he ask these kids to hold themselves accountable for their own actions! Let’s keep them from hearing this subversive message. Let’s keep handing out trophies to those who finish last. Let’s keep rewarding straight C’s with a new Sony PS3. Let’s keep allowing some parents to blame teachers for their child’s inadequacies because these very same parents haven’t done their jobs at home. Let’s keep ignoring what benefits the greater good, because, don’t you know, molly-coddling is a birthright. It’s not about the classroom performance; it’s all about today’s kids feeling good about themselves. Pardon me while I vomit.
Parents wanted to keep their kids out of school to show their displeasure with the current administration’s policies. Does this mean they can keep their kids home because they don’t like what’s being taught their kids? Does it mean these kids get to stay home because the parents don’t like the teacher, the school, the school uniform colors? Where does it end? How come no one said anything when either George Bush, or Lyndon Johnson, or Ronald Reagan, or, well, you get the idea, spoke to classrooms of kids? Howard Stern, the notorious talk radio host, cites that racism is at the root of this parental uproar. I don’t know if I agree with that, but I do believe the irate parents intentions were not only ill conceived, but damaging to the child’s perspective.
What kind of message are the kids of these narrow-minded parents receiving? If they disagree with something, just take your ball and go home? Remember parents, it wasn’t just about your kid, if you can wrap your brains around that concept. I’m sure they can’t, because, don’t you know, everything is about them. Why didn’t these parents sit down with their children and explain the differences in the Republican and Democratic elucidation of the Constitution? Tell them there have been two distinct interpretations since, well, for-ev-er. The Republicans have always believed in a liberal interpretation of the wording of the Constitution, while the Democrats have always believed in a literal version, except when it suits either one to have the opposite view.
“Mommy and Daddy don’t agree with what our President is doing, but he is still our President.” Couldn’t they have spoken to their children like that instead of bringing their form of McCarthyism into the 21st century? Oh that’s right, this very same generation of parents whine that they can’t get their kids to listen to them, or do what they say. Is that because they do everything for these kids, and they don’t hold them accountable for anything?
I wish I had the opportunity our President had. I’d have told the kids it’s time to put on your big boy and girl pants. The days of entitlement are over. You are not god’s gift to mankind regardless of what smoke your parents continue to blow up your ass. Contrary to popular belief, none of you are the second coming. You do not get everything your way just because you exist. Maximize your potential, shut up, and get cracking. If you think anybody owes you anything, you are sadly mistaken. If you think your Mommies and Daddies are going to continue to wipe your asses until you graduate college, for those that go, for some, even longer, you’ll get exactly what’s coming to you! Now everyone close their eyes, and tell me what you see. Exactly.

It's My Party, and I'll Cry if I Want To

For those of you who have never read, or are sporadic readers of my weekly blog, let me say again, I am a registered member of the Republican Party. I was once a member of the Young Republicans of Morris County, New Jersey. I attended fund raisers with Rodney Frelinghuysen and then Governor Tom Kean. My first presidential ballot was cast for Gerald Ford; a decent, upstanding man, and a loyal public servant, who inherited such a shitstorm from Richard Nixon, it’s no wonder he couldn’t accomplish anything during his abbreviated term. He wouldn’t have got elected on his own even if he’d have been able to walk on water. The voting public was so blinded by the nefarious behavior of Nixon and his cronies, that we would have elected the devil himself had he been the Democratic nominee. Instead, we got stuck with Jimmy Carter for four years. By the way, for all you naysayers, history has proven that Ford’s pardon of Nixon WAS the first step toward healing our country. History will not be so kind to Jimmy Carter.
I voted for Ronald Reagan once I served out my probation. I voted for the Bush’s, Dad and his impaired son. I watched as my party has gone from keeper of the flame of capitalism, foreign policy mavens, with a reputation for steadfast resolve; to a party that can best described as disorganized, antiquated, conservatism, with a hint of the absurd. I have not, as Arlen Specter bravely did, switch parties, as yet; though I do believe the Republican Party in its current state, no longer resembles the one I formerly embraced. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, there is talk that Sarah Palin may make a run for the nation’s highest office in 2012. Are you fucking shitting me?!!!!!!!
For those of you who have never had the pleasure of listening to her acute oration skills, her finely honed ability to reason, her well articulated turning of a phrase, well, let me clue you in. She is an idiot, a dope, an imbecile, a moron, a dolt, a dullard, an inane drone, a pinhead, a ying-yang, devoid of any productive cranial activity, and until recently, held the highest public office in the state of Alaska. Why is she no long governor? Because she quit. At least that’s what I got out of the sometimes rambling, sometimes unclear, sometimes disjointed, resignation/self-praise speech. Even the moral charlatan Rush Limbaugh, that bastion of self-righteous, ultra-conservative, so far to the right wing politics that he’s on the other side of the Greenwich meantime line, was at a loss for words when asked what to make of Palin’s resignation, and what it might mean. The only time Limbaugh is without comment is when he’s eating. Limbaugh’s partner in crime, Bill O’Reilly, who’d just returned from vacation, sidestepped the Palin resignation, choosing instead to weigh in on the hoopla surrounding Michael Jackson. When was the last time you heard of Bill O’Reilly avoiding to opine about anything that had to do with the well being of the Republican Party. Other notable Republicans were as perplexed as these right wing pundits, yet they dared to comment.
Iowa Republican Senator Chuck Grassley, called Palin’s resignation “astounding.” Karl Rove, former political adviser to George W. Bush, said that he and other GOP strategists are “perplexed” by Palin’s “bombshell” as USA Today called it. Meghan Stapleton, Palin’s communications director, said “she expects Palin to remain active as a speaker and campaigner. Oh be still my palpitating heart, I hope I can get a ticket to her next speaking engagement, that ought to be enthralling with the tremendous grasp of Palin has on the English language. Stapleton also added that Palin is “working to complete her memoirs due out next spring.” I wonder if it’s more than one page. Do they let people write memoirs in crayon? There must be a ghost writer even if it’s a pop-up book. If you think I’m being too harsh, let me sight some examples from her resignation speech and you can draw your own conclusions.
She opened with a short history lesson most middle-schoolers learn about William Seward and his role in the purchase of Alaska. She then cites Alaska as strategic due to it being “the air crossroads of the world,” whatever the hell that means. Call me crazy, but when was the last time you flew over Alaska when you went anywhere in the world? Palin states she is “determined to take the right path for Alaska even though it is unconventional and not so comfortable.” From what I understand, quitting something is about the most comfortable out you can take. Palin used the phrase “no more politics as usual” no less than five times by my count. A copy of the speech as written was obtained from the governor’s office. In the text there are innumerable words typed in capital letters. I’m assuming this was done so Palin knew where to put emphasis. However, this seems almost to have been done on an arbitrary basis at completely unnecessary times. See for yourself at www.huffingtonpost.com, who, by the way, weren’t the only media source to offer their observations.
Ruth Marcus from the Washington Post had this to say. “It’s fair to say I’ve been no fan of Palin’s since John McCain picked her (if she thinks John McCain did the picking, she’s mistaken, approved her is a better term) as his running-mate, and my estimation of her has only gone downhill from there. I think my hostility has to do with our shared gender: I’m eager to see women succeed in the political arena, as elsewhere, and I think McCain’s cynical choice of Palin and her faltering performance since has served to set back that cause.” So there. And if you’re one of those folks who’s sitting there saying, “Oh, that’s just the liberal media talking,” think again. Who owns the “liberal media,” and to whose party are they affiliated?
Marcus is as confused as I am over what Palin cites as her reason for quitting. On her follow up Facebook posting Palin said that she was being held to a higher standard than others who left their jobs for a “higher calling.” The media failed to understand “it’s about country,” but a sentence later she suggested it was about family. Marcus wonders if Palin is “planning to stay in the spotlight or get out of it?” The Anchorage News speculated that Palin might have resigned in order to “elevate her profile” for a possible run at the 2012 Republican Presidential nomination. But the paper goes on to hypothesize about what caused this abrupt turn of events. The paper cited that perhaps she found the “ethics inquiries paralyzing.” Marcus concurs with Palin’s home state press stating Palin’s “unconvincing explanation [for resigning] combined with refrigerator-magnet wisdom – “Don’t explain: Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe you anyway” – underscores the image of a woman unable to withstand the heat of political pressure.” How about her bizarre basketball analogy? I know her she had coaches everywhere cringing. Then she moves to a football analogy that was empty and vague about calling an audible. The only audible Palin called was not telling anyone was moving from basketball to football with a reference to football. Confusing isn’t it. Don’t worry you’re not alone.
Mary Matalin referred to Palin’s strategy as “brilliant,” Bill Kristol said Palin was “crazy like a fox.” These two observations only served to tarnish the legitimacy of both analysts, and erode their credibility. If they are trying to convince me in any way shape or form that Sarah Palin is the future of the Republican Party based on this recent move, well then let me paraphrase Palin’s last “hey look! I know some more history” quote from Gen Douglas MacArthur, I am not retreating [from the Republican Party], I am advancing in another direction,” until it can get its shit together.

Hold the Applause!

The dictionary states that the definition of applause is: approval or praise expressed by clapping. This is not to be confused with clap, which is: to strike the palms of (one’s hands) together repeatedly, typically in order to applaud. Other forms refer to putting a hand on one’s mouth or forehead to show dismay; slap encouragingly on the back or shoulder; an explosive sound, esp. thunder. It is also a venereal disease, esp. gonorrhea. That’s what Al Capone died of. It does not say uncontrollable hand collisions due to nervousness. It does not say the spastic ritual of bringing hands together to get attention. With this in mind, I would surmise that Nancy Pelosi is suffering from clapping disease.
There are many forms of clapping, as well as applause. Baseball coaches often clap encouragement either from the dugout or coach’s box. This display will often provoke clapping from other players to encourage the fellow player to accomplish whatever endeavor he is engaged in. If said player succeeds, this will then result in applause from both teammates and observers. Similar circumstances occur during the course of basketball and football games. This does not arise among hockey players, since it is not only difficult, but pointless to clap with hockey gloves on. However, like boxing, performance by the participants will often elicit applause from the spectators of these events. In golf, there is a muffled, rapid acknowledgement known as “the polite golf clap.” This is a subtle version of applause.
Impatient concert goers will sometimes break into a rhythmic clapping to persuade whatever artist they are there to see, to get up on stage and perform. This usually results in rousing applause. When most enjoyable performances conclude, the crowd then stands and applauds. This is called a standing ovation. Conditions have to warrant such demonstrations of emotion. In the world of entertainment, standing ovations happen at the end of particularly fine executions of one’s craft, this will then cause a counter to the standing ovation, which is a curtain call. In the theater, the actors will come out on stage to receive additional accolades. If the standing ovation continues, actors will then take multiple bows to acknowledge the audiences appreciation. For dramatic effect, the curtain will open and close between bows. Once the applause dies down, the curtain will then remain closed and the house lights will come on.
Last night there was a Presidential address. Nancy Pelosi may very well be still at Capital building, alone, standing and applauding, or should I say clapping, because there’s nothing left to applaud.
In music, if the standing ovation lasts long enough, the band or artist will reappear on the stage and perform one or more additional songs. The music standing ovation is sometimes accompanied by the ceremonial igniting of cigarette lighters as a supplement to the din of hands. Last evening, a baseball game did not go on in the halls of Congress; nor did a rock concert, or a remarkable performance by a renowned actor.
Sometimes one solitary clap is necessary to get the attention of a person or thing. We may clap once to keep the dog from barking. A single clap is used by some to stop the cat from using the Indian cotton couch as a scratching post. A hypnotist will clap to awaken someone from their trance-like state. At one time, two claps quickly in succession have been used by the wealthy to summon a servant. Two rapid claps are also valuable to the school teacher to get their students to focus. Today, there is a device where one clap can turn a light on or off. Had the lighting at the Hall of Congress had this device wired into its system, Nancy Pelosi could have single-handedly made the room look like a dance club with multiple strobe lights.
For those of you who missed it, Barack Obama gave his Congressional address. He talked about the state of the economy. He talked about the state of education in this country. He talked about the deficiency in health care in the United States. He talked of his plan to alter the present course of those things. He did so in a prepared speech. Speech writers normally include breaks in the speech that state “wait for applause.” They are trained men and women who can accurately gauge what will educe applause. Last night the speech writers were made to look like imbeciles by Nancy Pelosi, whose dreadful disease came on without warning throughout the Presidents address. Her affliction almost each and every time Barack Obama uttered a sentence, or cleared his throat, manifested itself in the form of a Standing Ovation. It got to the point Obama must have been curious as to what he said that prompted this exuberant response. He could scarcely get through a complete statement. Little did he know what was going on behind him. If he had, as humble as he appears to be, it would not have shocked those in attendance if the President of the United States had turned around and yelled “QUIT IT! Can’t you see I’m speaking here?” And then promptly bitch slapped her.
Nancy Pelosi sprang from her seat so often, it was as though her chair was heated and someone put the setting on too high a temperature. Perhaps she was also suffering from hemorrhoids and she couldn’t help herself. When she could no longer endure sitting, she’d jump from her seat giving her much needed temporary relief. Can one suffer of Tuorette's of the ass? Vice-President Joe Biden once even rolled his eyes at a prompt that launched Ms. Pelosi for the umpteenth time. Since Vice-President Biden was seated next to her on the rise behind the President, if he didn’t get up when Speaker of the House Pelosi did, he’d look like a fool,when it was Pelosi who looked, and acted the part of the fool. I wouldn’t be surprised if Biden felt embarrassment for her.
Watching Ms. Pelosi, I was reminded of clergy who stand before their congregations and motion with their hands when it’s time for the parishioners to stand and sit. She was like those people who sign for the deaf members of the audience, when she got up, those in the audience facing her were supposed to get up. If they did not, they would no doubt raisee her ire, and perhaps be shamed into standing. However, I’m convinced Pelosi eventually lost all comprehension as to why she was repeatedly standing and clapping, (because often nothing was said that justified applause). Perhaps she did so due to some strange form of OCD.
During the analysis on CBS, Katie Couric stated that the President had spoken for nearly fifty minutes. Like an hour long television show peppered with commercial breaks, resulting in only forty minutes of viewing; the net time of real speaking was only thirty minutes.
So let’s not ridicule Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi like I’ve done here. Let’s have some compassion for her and her illness. Let’s give her the benefit of the doubt for her bizarre behavior unlike what the public gave her colleague Howard Dean. One day she’ll leave politics and have to get a job and cope in the real world with this illness. Maybe she can get a job as a professional seat filler. I hope she avoids the same fate as Al Capone. Now will some one tell her to extinguish her lighter and go home.